Trust

Trust
I am not one of those people who are constantly writing blogs,,,,,,,,,,,, just because. It is usually something I have experenced or God has layed it on my heart to say something. I guess this is a little of both. Most of you who will read this know me well and know my past. Even though we can not use our past as an excuse, there are somethings that still have an effect on us because we let it. We either dont see it, dont know what to do about it or just dont care because we use it as a crutch.
And I guess I fall into the catagory of "not seeing it" this time. God and I have what some may see as a strange conversation arrangement. I dont "say my prayers" in the morning or evening. I talk to God in the morning as if He were sitting beside me. I dont start off with "My wonderful Heavenly Father, We Come To You This Morning,,," I just start talking. And at night I dont say Good Night because He never sleeps but is always there watching over me. Now I know to some that sounds to forward and un-"religous" But its God and my conversation so He is the only one who counts.
Anyway, recently while I was driving home one morning from work, I was talking with Him about where I am in my life. I had not realized it but over the past 8 years of my life I had come to a place where I didn't think I would ever be able to trust again. Esepecially trust a man, because I had not only been betrayed by ladies who I thought were close friends but also by the one who I trusted more than anyone else in the world. Those things sometimes eat at you even if you dont see it. I have always been a trusting soul, maybe even to much, but I found myself more cautious when it comes to trusting others. There are times God puts people in your life for your betterment even though you may not see it. And this is what He did for me. As I was driving I realized that there is someone, a man, that I had come to trust with just about anything I want to say or share and I dont worry about hearing it some where else.
When I realized this God spoke to me and told me " I allowed you to find trust again through" this person. But it has come over time. We have been friends for a while but its just recently that this became clear to me. (For those of you who are curious, this man and I are just really good friends, but he is someone I can count on even just to listen when I feel like whining. (And if he reads this, Thank you for that)
Someone ask me once "If you are wanting a relationship with someone are you not suppose to trust them" Well that depends on what you think trust is. There is a blind trust that is totally gulible and is just riding on a wing and a prayer. But real trust is earned. If you say trust me then I will,,,,,,,until something doesn't feel,look or smell right. Then you must prove it to me by your actions. Over time. I have found my friends who were always telling me to turst them or "Its just between you and me" Are usuall the ones who you CAN'T trust. A flip side of that is if someone is always saying "Please dont tell anyone this" then that person is probaly not someone you should tell your heart secrets to.
We should be willing to trust but not always trust. God doesn't expect us to always put our hearts on a tight rope and watch it bob back and forth or fall. He expects us to use wisdom .
On the other hand, if someone has proven to you time and time again, had been there when you were not the nicest person in the world but still comes back and knows the "real you" but loves you inspite of it all.......hold on to them because they are not so easy to find. Dont let your own insecurities of fears distroy something that may be God sent. Just keep praying about it. If God sends that person in your life you will find you can TRUST them because you turst God.
As my peeps call me,
Mama V